Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Return is finally here

But the virtues we get by first exercising them, as also happens in the case of the arts as well. For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them, e.g., men become builders by building and lyreplayers by playing the lyre; so too we become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.
-Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics

I entered law school; unconquerable. I worked full-time, helped my parents out and commuted 120 miles 4 days a week all the while reading the law books at night and maintaining a relationship. When reality set in after a year and half the grind was too much. I had to stop. Physically and mentally I was a wreck. The day came and I admitted this battle was lost but swore to keep fighting.

I am set to start my law degree in the fall 2012. I have worked very hard to prepare for this return after a less than graceful break. It is exciting to actually have a support system that understands the grind and is committed to being there for the long haul. I never gave my family and close friends enough credit for all they do for me. All of them continuously surprise me. Friends I see every few months are always stepping up when I need them. Family members whom I have little in common with trust me enough to ask questions about getting healthy and turning things around. Heck my first 50 mile attempt even included T-shirts with my mug on the front.  

I was a much different person a few years ago. There was eternal preparation but never any action. It was a combination of circumstance and gut instinct that kept me from pulling the trigger on a few things. Something inside always said, "this is not right...this is not you." I felt like a third person was living my life and the real me was off on vacation. It was a profoundly depressing realization. Not wanting to be part of your own life and being content with others choosing for you sucks. The result: stress, poor health, pessimism and a perennial chip on my shoulder.

What changed? acting rather than preparing.

My life and attitude did a 180. I started smiling more and being 40-50 lbs lighter with better overall health helps a lot with the attitude. Believe it or not I am happy to deal with aches and pains from moving too much rather than from moving too little. 

It is not easy to get out of your shell and "do." It is scary and often times you will be met with criticism and even cynicism from those you love the most. DO NOT LET THEM STOP YOU. When others make choices for you; life stops and dying starts. My change in attitude has had a ripple effect. I discovered that positive people have stuck around and the negative people faded into the background. They don't do this on purpose; we just see the world differently. My core group of friends, the ones who were there at my bottom, remain the same. The major difference is that acquaintances are now people I meet through fitness rather than tequila shots. 

It is going to be difficult and stressful but beautiful. Beautiful because I worked very hard to get back and I am doing it for the right reason: me. I am no longer only achieving for others. Riding pine is over and up at the plate I am not going to look at a called strike three. 

If you do not believe, they never will.

1 comment:

STU said...

this is awesome Alex! i'll share my own story with you sometime.

here's a fun read which takes things even further :

good luck w/ all!