Sunday, December 26, 2010

Year End Reflection - 2010

Many times during the course of the year I am reminded of how lucky I am.  This year is no exception.  I have met and interacted with others in ways that I could never have imagined.  I started 2010 with a lot of stress and a lot of melancholy.  I end it in a similar fashion, but it’s different this time.  Last year I could not comprehend why I felt the way I did, this year I feel sad but I know why.  Aside from all of the things that I am going through I have a lot to be thankful for.  I can of course go on a listing spree but the fact is family and friends are the key.  Everything that I have learned I have learned through them and with them.

Never in a million years did I think I would like running.  After knee surgery the running days were behind me.  I have been blessed with a chance to rediscover this thing I dreaded.  I was able to embrace it even if my brain told me I hated it, my heart told me otherwise.  I started running because I was escaping something, and now running I have discovered that I no longer need to run.

I am really focusing on rediscovery this year.  I dismissed a lot of things in my past.  These events affected or influenced me more than I understood when they happened; now I feel I can start taking them into account.  I never stood back and looked for how events changed me, I was too busy finding a solution or resolving the problem.  This attitude has taken its toll on me hence the main reason why I greet this New Year on a sad note.

I plan to fight back.  I plan to really take a look at my experience and make sense of it.  I want to really delve into what makes me who I am.  I do not want to start the decade the same way that I did the last one.  In 2000, I had dreams and aspirations but no means or plan to get there.  2011 I am going to rediscover those dreams and aspirations and use what I have learned to make a plan and handle business.  It is not going to be easy, but nothing worthwhile is.

I pray that anyone who reads this takes a moment to be thankful.  But more than that takes a moment to rediscover what they want.  When we look within ourselves we find not only how truly lucky we are, but also that there are a lot of things in there we never took time to appreciate.  Discovery is defined as finding out information that was not previously known.  When we re-discover ourselves we find many of the answers we seek had been there all along had we just taken the time to look.

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